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How to Win a Million Dollars is a madcap, self-deprecating, laugh-out-loud coming-of-age memoir. That takes readers on an adventure through the wildly inventive, sometimes-questionable, but always entertaining schemes of a boy who would do anything to make it big.
Growing up as a gay Catholic schoolboy in a tiny Mississippi River town surrounded by cornfields, Luke's imagination was constantly set on fire by million-dollar daydreams and DIY hustles. Whether it was hunting down the missing Cap'n Crunch or gaming McDonald's Monopoly, no scheme was too ridiculous, no shortcut too far-fetched. With his trusty Hustler bike and a mountain of determination, Luke didn't just dream-he plotted.
Set in the 1980s, this is the story of a kid with a knack for scamming, hustling, and occasionally crashing and burning-all in the pursuit of that elusive big win. From navigating a Catholic school playground full of bullies to trying to "make it" out of a blue-collar family, Luke was always on the move, cooking up his next big adventure. Dragging his little sister-turned faithful sidekick-into trouble at every turn, her sweet voice was always in his ear, making us wonder: is he conning her, or is she saving him from himself?
As Luke grew up, so did the schemes-transforming into a Broadway Cinderella story of sorts, ditching it all for the artist's life in Paris, and even getting cursed by a vengeful Hawaiian god. With each crazy plan, the stakes got higher, the twists got weirder, and Luke had to ask himself the big questions: Can you beat the system, or will the system beat you? And what do you do when your dreams-and all your wildest schemes-start to crumble?
Through hilarity, heartbreak, and the relentless pursuit of the American Dream, How to Win a Million Dollars explores the glittering highs and crushing lows of chasing success in a world shaped by Reaganomics, dyslexia, and the crumbling facade of opportunity. From paperboy scams to going for broke in the App Store before an experimental spin with AI, it asks the profound question: Where do we end, and where does AI begin? This story is proof that while everything can fall apart at any moment, the journey-chaotic, messy, and wildly imperfect-is the real prize. And maybe, just maybe, there's still a million-dollar dream out there, waiting to be won.
