I should really title this book The First Seven Months of Discard because narcissistic discards happen again and again and AGAIN. There is an initial event, for sure, but what happened to me for the first seven months was a shitstorm of post-separation abuse, gaslighting, and abuse by proxy through family members, attorneys, mental health professionals, police, family court, and other institutions. I definitely have cautionary tales, but by and large, I made a bunch of above average decisions and more than a few great ones. Each book represents one month of my journey. Each part has my top Don't Do This and my top Do This, along with Perspectives that will help you survive day-to-day and month-to-month.
I could freak you out and talk about how the decisions you make during this period will impact the rest of your life and potentially cost you tens of thousands of dollars, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars, not to mention decisions for your kids that will impact generations - but you already know that. Instead, I would like to offer that no one decision is insurmountable and no one person is invincible. It may appear that you are up against a supervillain that has the world's institutions eating out of his or her hand. But remember, a narcissist is still only human, just a person, like you and me. Well not completely like you and me - we have a power inside us that is stronger. We have climbed out of hell. And no one can take that away from us. Look at our arms, legs, hands, feet, brain, and heart - we are strong and powerful. We are certainly missing a few fingers and toes, but we have survived.
One top psychologist and expert in all things narcissism says that those who survive and heal from narcissistic abuse go on to become the most AWESOME people. I believe that this is you and me. I invite you to buy this book and read about one person's story. You will be encouraged.
And even though I'm still in middle of the storm, I can say one very important thing:
I believe you.
As an abuse survivor myself, and from forming relationships with dozens of abuse survivors, I know that the most important thing to say to someone who tells you that they are a victim of abuse are these three especially important words. Because of what we have endured, we've found that only those who've also been there can comprehend the extent of our lived experiences.
I'm with you in the trenches, and we are in this together.
