Vertical Lines III

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Book III is every bit as delightful as Books I and II - page after page of smiles, laughs, and sometimes outright guffaws. All three books are the perfect companions when you need a pick-me-up or just have a few minutes and want something light. And they never get old! Open to any page and see for yourself. Guaranteed to please!

Samples:

My friend David lost his ID. Now we just call him 'Dav.'

My girlfriend told me that obesity is in her genes. I told her that that can't be true because she looks fat in her skirt also.

A priest was checking into a hotel. He asked the clerk: *I presume that the pornography channel is disabled?" "No," replied the clerk, "it's just regular, you pervert!"

The problem with doing nothing is that vou don't know when you've finished.

l asked myself if I was crazy and we all said "No."

Life's a soup... and I'm a fork.

Askhole: A person who constantly asks for vour advice, yet always does the opposite of what you tell them.

I encouraged my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a big hug.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.

My kids say they want a cat for Christmas. Normally I serve turkey. but, hey... if it will make them happy..