In "Avoiding the Disaster Date: Funny But True Stories of Relationship Red Flags", humorist Michael Pollick delivers a hilarious yet eye-opening collection of essays that dive headfirst into the world of relationship red flags. With a sharp wit and a keen sense of observation, he recounts his own and others' misadventures in dating, each tale a cautionary reminder of the signs we often ignore. From the overly attached ex who still lurks on social media to the date who insists on discussing conspiracy theories over dinner, Pollick's stories are both relatable and uproarious. He masterfully blends humor with honesty, inviting readers to laugh at the absurdities while also reflecting on their own experiences. Each essay serves as a guide, a gentle nudge to recognize the warning signs before diving into the dating pool. Pollick's lighthearted approach transforms the often-dreaded topic of dating disasters into an entertaining exploration of love's pitfalls, making it a must-read for anyone navigating the chaotic world of romance.

Michael Pollick delivers a hilarious yet eye-opening collection of essays that dive headfirst into the world of relationship red flags. With a sharp wit and a keen sense of observation, he recounts his own and others' misadventures in dating, each tale a cautionary reminder of the signs we often ignore. From the overly attached ex who still lurks on social media to the date who insists on discussing conspiracy theories over dinner, Pollick's stories are both relatable and uproarious. He masterfully blends humor with honesty, inviting readers to laugh at the absurdities while also reflecting on their own experiences. Each essay serves as a guide, a gentle nudge to recognize the warning signs before diving into the dating pool. Pollick's lighthearted approach transforms the often-dreaded topic of dating disasters into an entertaining exploration of love's pitfalls, making it a must-read for anyone navigating the chaotic world of romance.

The Art of Tardiness: A Dating Conundrum that Drives You Mad

You know, they say time is relative, but when you're dating someone who's chronically late, it feels a lot more like a personal affront. I mean, I've dated some interesting characters, but the latecomers take the cake. It's like they checked their watches and thought, "You know what? I could be on time, but where's the fun in that?" They treat punctuality like it's a suggestion, not a rule.

I remember one date where I was so early that I had time to read War and Peace and still finish a full season of a Netflix show before my date arrived. I could have baked a cake, written a novel, and solved world hunger in the time it took them to show up. When they finally arrived, I was halfway through my existential crisis, contemplating whether I should just start charging them rent for the time I was wasting.

And let's talk about the excuses. "Oh, traffic was terrible!" Sure, I get it. But when I can see the same traffic jam on Google Maps from my seat, it feels like a conspiracy. Or the classic, "I lost track of time!" Really? You lost track of time? I didn't realize we were living in a time warp.

But the best part is when they show up, all flustered and apologetic, and you're just sitting there like a statue of patience, wondering if you should applaud their grand entrance or demand a trophy for your endurance. I mean, if I wanted to wait around for someone who treats time like it's optional, I could have just adopted a cat. At least then, I'd get some cuddles while I waited! So, if you're dating someone who's perpetually late, just remember: love may be blind, but it sure as heck should be on time!