One day searching through old, battered storage boxes sorting through paper file folders thinking he would shred them, Felix Fist discovers a large, tan envelope darkened by the dust of passing years. Surprised by what he finds in that envelope prompts him to search through an apple box of old notebooks taking him back over fifty years to when his search for the truths about the world and himself began. Reading through entries for several years, Felix finally begins to understand why what he had or had not done had too often kept him from fulfilling his dreams that had always been deferred.