Hastacha Paus(vm)

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AT TIMES, I FIND MYSELF TO BE TOO GLOOMY. ALL THE IDEAS ABOUT NEW STORIES REMAIN IDLE IN MY MIND, RESEMBLING AN INACTIVE TOAD SITTING ON A STONE, DOING NOTHING. SOMEWHERE, I DO GET THE FEELING THAT I AM CARRYING MANY SINGLE BURDENS OVER MY HEAD, AND NOW THESE ALL HAVE TURNED INTO A HUGE, HEAVY LOAD. WRITING IS THE FIRST AND FOREMOST THING, OTHER THINGS ARE SECONDARY. HENCE, WHATEVER TRIES TO BLOCK THE PATH OF WRITING SHOULD BE DISCARDED FIRMLY. YET, AT TIMES, IT BECOMES IMPOSSIBLE. THE REASONS ARE VARIED. SOMETIMES, IT IS LACK OF COMPETENCY AND AT OTHER IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT PREVAILS IN MIND, SUGGESTING THAT I MYSELF AM SPOILING MY STRENGTHS, FOR REASONS UNKNOWN. DEEP IN MY MIND, I HAVE NEVER ONCE FELT THAT I HAVE ACHIEVED GREAT MANY THINGS IN THE CAPACITY OF AN AUTHOR. WOULD IT NOT HAVE BETTER TO BELIEVE IT THOUGH? AT LEAST, MY MIND WOULD HAVE BEEN ENTITLED TO THE SOLACE THAT AN INNOCENT EXPERIENCES! BUT THEN, THIS IS AGAIN YET ANOTHER THOUGHT. ALL OF A SUDDEN, MY MIND BOUNCES OFF, WANTS TO THROW AWAY EVERYTHING AND GUSH OUT. GOD KNOWS, WHAT IS GOING TO TAKE PLACE NOW!