Imagine the son of Cinderella and Noah. That’s Alabaster Ash, professional window washer and amateur foot fetishist, thrall to his three physically fit, brutally aggressive stepsisters. After polishing foot after foot of glass in the gingerbread city of Candyland and cleaning up after the wicked stairmasters, he haunts the bars and streets looking for love and appreciation–or a really nice pair of feet. Like it or not, Alabaster finds himself reliving and reimagining his parents’ lives as he roams from bar to bar, from thrill ride to stunt show in the linguistic funland that is Ark.