Getting It, Having It, Keeping It Up: Straight Men’s Sexuality in Public and Private

In Getting It, Having It, Keeping It Up, sociologist Beth Montemurro explores the cultivation and development of heterosexual men’s sexual selves. Based on rich, detailed, in-depth interviews with a diverse group of 94 heterosexual men between the ages of 20 and 68, she investigates how getting sex, having sex, and keeping up their sex lives/sexual performance matters to men and how these experiences shape heterosexual men’s feelings of self-worth both as men and as people. Montemurro also examines the tension between public, cultural narratives about hetero-masculinity and men’s private, sexual selves and intimate experiences. Ultimately, Montemurro’s research allows us to better understand how getting it, having it, and keeping it is not just about sex but also about getting, having, and keeping women and getting, having, and keeping up a hetero-masculine self-image.