Baby’s First Instruction Manual: How To Be the Center of the Universe

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Babies don’t know much. Traumatized at birth, they are ill equipped to face the world. This essential guidebook, authored by a former newborn, will prepare them for life in the crib and beyond. Subjects range from teething to pooping to circumcision. Infants will learn to manipulate grandparents, thwart siblings, and survive babysitters and pediatricians. Masterfully illustrated. Rated PG ½.