The vampires want to turn us all. I just want to turn the channel.

I never expected Mr. Jubbles of Yeehaw Junction, Florida, to return to my inn. After all, the last time he stayed here, he witnessed a monster invasion and was scolded for stealing towels.

I really didn't expect him to be attacked and drained by a vampire in my pantry while stealing cocktail peanuts. Nor, for me to be accused of his murder.

Things only go downhill from there.

The fiend who attacked Mr. Jubbles is the world's oldest vampire. Meaning, she's as powerful as they come. She wants to take over the San Marcos vampire community now that it's been ravaged by an evil spell.

The vampires want to turn all of us humans into vamps.

My daughter wants to marry the Fae god of war.

And the world's oldest vampire wants something from me very badly.

No one cares what I want: for all this trouble to go away.

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