What if Donald Trump wrote a book about himself-and did it all by himself? It would probably look a little something like this. Exclusively using hundreds of verified quotes and tweets from the man who improbably became the 45th president of the United States, My Amazing Book About Tremendous Me sees Trump’s own words answering kid-friendly prompts such as, My house is. and My five best ideas are.

Now, we finally have a medium where his bragging, rambling, outrageous and occasionally incoherent thoughts make sense. Sort of.