Publisher's Note: This book is a hoax! Despite our best efforts, we cannot verify the authencity of this work. Robert Dwight Brown may be an "unreliable editor". Do not believe his lies! For God's sake, do not believe his lies!

What if The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and All The President's Men had a bouncing baby boy?

To my son, Bob,

It was the Golden Age of Hollywood and with stars in my eyes and typewriter in hand, your father then a teenager, set off for Tinseltown.

Because of Orson Welles' colossal blunder with Citizen Kane, the brass at RKO wanted to rein in their "Boy Wonder". Saddling Orson with me as his screenwriter, they forced him to adapt his "War of the Worlds" radio-drama as a feature film.

But Orson's Invasion From Mars film would not be a simple adaptation of his infamous radio-drama. This film would ask sinister questions:

WHAT IF the radio broadcasts that panicked listeners wasn't theater on the air, but very real? WHAT IF Martians had invaded American soil that cold Halloween Eve in 1938? WHAT IF there was a vast government conspiracy between Franklin Delano Roosevelt, William Randolph Hearst, and a twenty-three-year-old Orson Welles to hide this truth from the American people?

Then in the 1970's, Orson Welles was interviewed on a series of reel-to-reels that could finally upend decades of misconception concerning the "Panic Broadcast", but had been "forgotten". Decades after this, I would hide a long "lost" Invasion From Mars screenplay in a safety-deposit box to be found by you, my unsuspecting son!

Did the "forgotten" reel-to-reel tapes record the greatest prank ever played by Orson Welles? Did the "lost" screenplay reveal a very real cabal at the highest levels of government that would end in... "The Orson Welles' Conspiracy"!

Sincerely, your father,

William Francis Brown