The Diary of a Has-been: The intimate chronicle of Arnold Appleforth - legendary journalist, idealist and sponger

Arnold Appleforth claims getting old is all about attitude. And if that’s the case he needs all the attitude he can get, because his journalistic career is on life support, his sex life non-existent (except for a recent regrettable incident at a well-known chain restaurant), his financial position precarious and his alcohol consumption prodigious. Add to that his abysmal parenting of his three (or is it four?) children and the biohazard status of his flat, and life isn’t a bed of roses.

So Arnold decides to keep a diary, a daily dose of inspiration to keep his blood pumping. It’ll deal with his own life with intimate, eye-watering honesty and also include pungent political comment on the disgraceful state of contemporary Britain. With a view to publication of course - who wouldn’t want to enjoy his wit and wisdom? Join Arnold as he drops pearly bon mots before swine and makes one last grab for literary immortality. And struggles to survive in a sadly unappreciative world…