Modern life is hard for the men. Their useful knowledge of egg cups, meat pie, dolphins, their dicks, bears, the Ottoman Empire, arts funding applications, is all gone to pot in this topsy turvy world. This book of really applicable maxims, compiled by two sages of poetry, makes sense of the madness like no folklore ever has. They’ve got one thousand philosophies to combat the one thousand ways per day that life can be hard, and weird. For those who fail to navigate an everyday paradox these wise poet monkeys offer you a way to a wilier existence. For the rest of us, never trust a man who speaks in aphorisms.

• Holly Pester

Speeding axiomatic associative proverb play built on competitive punning and animistic-come-mock-maxim-jump-poetry producing a batty roller-coaster of batted flashes between laughter and 2&throw street surgery where the murky purposes of an ageing population of adages meet the even more incomprehensible porpoises of comedy. Liberation is a lucky mucky business. Contains handy advice too: Never write someone else’s suicide note.

• Tim Allen

Fowler and Jenks spin the ancient heavenly wheels of 1000 proverbial wisdoms. A thong strapped for lady roller discos and a dolphin disguised as a Japanese Jesus. Time is an illusion! Never trust a whale with its mouth closed! These straws swizzle! Fun sized bargain bins of pragmatic living.

• Marcus Slease