OK! So you’re not sure whether you want to read this book or not.

I’M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON if you don’t read it. (You won’t believe me anyway.)(Besides I haven’t read it.)

I’m not going to tell you how FUNNY this BOOK is or that it was not TESTED ON ANIMALS or that 16 DOLPHINS DIED when the forests were cut down to make the paper for this book.

I’m not GOING TO tell you that this book is about SURFING and that it contains a story with heroes of either SEX; it looks at parallel universes, BLOOD, VIOLENCE and stuff. (If read backwards it makes no sense at all.)

The Venuzuelan Tribune said: ‘We don’t like books with lots of pictures!’

The Daily Bugle said: ‘Why bother reading it? None of it’s real.’

The Flying Scotsman wrote: ‘I read it from cover to cover but didn’t worry about the bit in between.’

The Egyptian Mummy wrote: ‘I was wrapped!