I am a seventy-two year old man, and I have had a very interesting life, which I am now happy to share with you. I was born during World War Two, and my parents split up when I was seven years old, my mother having left home to be with her boyfriend.I came from the back streets of South London, and I was a computer programmer by profession, until I committed homicide at the age of thirty-two. I have spent the last forty years in mental hospitals, although I maintain that I am perfectly sane and always have been.I have written many songs, which I hope will become popular one day, as they contain a distillation of wisdom I have acquired over the years. Here is an extract from a song of mine called, ‘The Can Carrier’.‘I carried the can for you.I proved I’m the man for you.I did what you made me do, And I carried the can.