One of the advantages of a long-term relationship, is that you can safely offer to share something in a spontaneous act of generosity, in the sure knowledge, based on your experience of the tastes of your partner, that the offer will be refused, and you can then bask in your enjoyment of both the object, and the goodwill generated by your offer. However, even after 19 years, this can go disastrously wrong. Hence today’s ‘Oh, yes, I would like half of that cheese and onion pasty’ debacle.

Ever tried sneaking a banana into the British Library? Struggled with pedestrian etiquette? Been rubbish at life? While others parade tales of their success, Anthony McGowan recalls his failures, giving voice to thoughts and opinions that would otherwise go unheard. The Art of Failing is a love poem to holed socks, unsatisfactory packed lunches, athlete’s foot powder, the eccentrics of the British Library, liver salts, Kierkegaard, Morrissey and the rainy streets of West Hampstead, where an unlucky Northerner finds himself at sea.