Mary, a cheerful and studious middle kid from Northern California, encounters a drastic change in her peaceful homelife after her dad moves out. Mary's mom starts chugging beer and brings home Eddy, a stranger from the bar who looks like the Marlboro man. Eddy's two daughters, Summer and Misty move in and steal Mary's clothes, self-confidence, and soon her mom's love. Mary's home soon becomes party central for Eddy's friends who unwittingly teach the household children how to live their worst life. Mary searches for love and comfort in all the wrong places as she figures out how to do life without the help of proper parenting.

After miraculously graduating college and overcoming several obstacles, Mary works hard to erase her childhood demons through self-medicating, people pleasing, workaholism and building the American Dream. Unfamiliar with living an ordinary happy life, she becomes miserable and dismantles all that she's built, unconsciously repeating the mistakes of her parents. Mary finally gets the wakeup call she needed. Sitting by her pool, on the verge of divorce and self-destruction, she watches her happy seven-year-old daughter playing and imagines herself at seven, oblivious to what's in store once her dad leaves. She realizes her constant discontentedness, or "somewhere-else-itis" is rooted in her past. She decides to try and get her shit together. She begins to unravel her flawed thought patterns, overcome addictions and seeks to find unmedicated joy in various adventures. She takes up soap making, dancing, roller derby, and finally, self-love.

Mary finally realizes life will continue to deliver "crap sandwiches" and she must face them head on rather than medicate. Instead of running away from her past and being ashamed of it, she learns to high five it and thank it for the wisdom.