Raising boys is exhausting, confusing, infuriating … and absolutely awesome.

In Boy Lessons: What I’ve Learned from My Sons, Jeff Johnson shares a secret he’s been keeping about parenting boys: you learn as much as you teach.

Jeff and his wife, Sondi, helped their sons through everything from brotherly fights and irrational fears (clowns, thunder, off-brand toilet paper) to promposals and their first teenage jobs. From toddlerhood to that self-centered stage before they left for college, their sons, Thor and Rolf, had many lessons to learn-but every stage included plenty of unexpected lessons for their dad too.

Here are just a few tidbits of unexpected wisdom he learned about raising boys:

Other people’s kids aren’t as perfect as you think. Save the real battles for things that truly matter. Take conversations when they come (even at bedtime). Kids become frugal when money is scarce. Pray together whenever you can.

Every boy is beautifully unique and predictably the same: all boys go through similar phases, pose the same challenges, and cause their parents the same headaches and joys. In this book, Jeff Johnson explores all of these lessons and more.

Filled with funny family stories about parenting boys and reflections that are at once familiar and new, Boy Lessons will help you understand your sons better, put their behavior into perspective, and be a better dad.