The Ask Dr. Eldritch ETERNAL HOROSCOPE OF MYSTERY!

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The absolutely most correct horoscopes available today, and with this book, they will last the rest of your life! No other astrology will predict your alien encounters, fae-folk infestations, monster attacks or robot revolts. Featuring a highly-personalized system to uniquely forecast your daily horoscope, this book also offers Special Birthday horoscopes, PLUS custom Ask Dr. Eldritch tattoo designs. This is truly the last book of horoscopes you'll ever need to buy.