This is a survivor's story of a 69-year-old poet, that has had a lifetime of physical, emotional sexual abuse that lead to multiple addictions. An unsettling childhood and difficult marriages has been the catalyst for my writing, which has been cathartic and revitalizing for me. Having survived many emotional breaks with multiple suicide attempts, I've found true happiness. With Christ in my life, everything has changed for the better. In my experience, no matter how difficult life got, there was an answer of hope love and joy. As I understand how little control I have over others and once I accepted this, life has been happier and healthier. Stumbling through life feeling dejected, worthless and used, truly from the pits of despair to the loving arms of Christ. Often, I have performed in many open mics and poetry slams in Baltimore and surrounding areas with much success. As I go through the darkness of a tumultuous life, I weave poetry throughout, which helps explain where my emotions were at that time. Writing always helped me get through the tough times. Also, it helps me explain the joy I have found in Christ. This book is a commentary on how the mental health industry failed in providing adequate care. Finding a good therapist, helped me get to the root cause of my trauma, which has been key to my success. In my humble example, happiness can only be realized when in the loving arms of Christ. This book is a labor of love, love of poetry and the many friends and witnesses throughout my life. It is my stance against the abusers (which I almost became one), the bullies and those that ridicule. This is my testimony of the love of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.