Meredith is not good enough. She is always searching for something outside of herself to make her whole. She escapes into her obsession with body, weight, and shape. Her mind constantly races. Is her stomach flat enough? Everyone is looking at her, judging. She cannot eat for the rest of the day. Inside, she is empty. Meredith has suffered from anorexia since the age of thirteen, and at the age of thirty-five, she entered a partial hospitalization program. Now fully recovered, Meredith shares her honest, complicated, and at times heart-wrenching recovery journey to give hope to those who are suffering. If you have that little glimmer of hope underneath all the pain of your eating disorder, this book is for you. Anorexia brings me down, controls me, suffocates me, consumes me. It zaps away any small piece of joy, or happiness or sense of worth. I have these rare occasions where I think There must be more. I want more. I deserve more. I have a brief surge of energy to conquer this disease and think that my whole life is going to change for the better and then seconds later I feel fat and disgusting and the anxiety within me is nearly impossible to tolerate. The disease wins … but Meredith continues to fight and reaches full recovery. A brand-new chapter of her life begins.