Damage to Victory: Secrets to My Son

By: Natasha Brown

God, why do you hate me? The monsters hurt me again and again, and she won’t help me. Isn’t a mother supposed to protect her children? I know she knows what these beasts are doing to me and my sisters; she has to hear our cries. I want to die. I don’t want to be this anymore. Enough. God, I have had enough, just let me die.

I have to be better for my son. My past will not define my future. My immaculate conception, my first love, my one true victory, my reason for living, the love of my life will never know the feeling of degradation and self-hatred I felt the first time I realized that my mother did not love me enough to protect me nor did she care. That will not be my son’s reality. Though my divine blessing was a product of rape, I will protect him with my life!

God blessed me when he brought the Goldsteins in my life. These great people, my God-given parents, took this flawed hurt girl with all my thorns, self-hate, and rage and loved me to wellness. They brought me from damage to victory, and now it is time to tell my secrets to my son.

About the Author

Natasha Brown believes it takes a village to raise a child and has been part of that village for thirty years. She lives on a small country ranch in McAlester, Oklahoma, with her brother Larry Edwards-Brown, three dogs, and two horses. Her sister Sonya Brown is back living with her as she fights cervical cancer.

Love, family gatherings, children and grandchildren, animals (especially her dog King), traveling, reading, writing, directing, theater, music, meeting new people, doing new things, prayer, and meditation keep her grounded.