Why Marriage Counseling Fails: Is the Problem the Marriage–Or the Counselor?

Like life itself, marriage has moments of joy…and sorrow. As difficult as marriage can be, many who have said I do try to stick it out when problems arise because the alternative–being alone–is not very appealing. If the couple truly wants to save their marriage, they usually turn to counseling.

Unfortunately, most marriage counseling ends with the couple dropping out and then, more often than not, ending their relationship. In some cases, the problem is not the couple but their choice of counselor. One who is poorly trained, disinterested, or obviously biased can destroy a marriage.

Why Marriage Counseling Fails explores different scenarios that cause problems for couples as well as the different types of counselors who can help or harm a marriage. Dr. David B. Hawkins has more than forty-five years of experience as a marriage counselor and has helped thousands of couples save their marriages.

Sadly, when it comes to reaching out for help for marriage counseling, few have a sense of trust and confidence in their counselor, he says. Stories abound about how they came out of a counseling session worse than when they went in.

Dr. Hawkins defines the five I’s of a qualified marriage counselor as one who:

Offers wise instruction

Takes an active interest in the couple

Offers insight into why problems recur

Is willing to work intensively

Works in-depth to help the couple find long-term solutions

Why Marriage Counseling Fails offers insights into marital issues, the brokenness of the counseling system, how to find good help, and how to insist upon effective help when turning to a counselor.