Feelings of deep shame resulting from incest trapped Kaya in a vise that seemed impossible to escape. School provided happiness in Kaya’s life until her dad’s sexual abuse began, leaving her with long years of ongoing shame. She developed delusions of tormenting demons surrounding her, and Kaya’s once-quiet mother began verbally abusing her. She ran away from home hoping to find happiness elsewhere. Amazingly, she found a loving half-sister who took her into her home.

But when Kaya’s father dies she falls into agony and believes that god and the devil are the same. Then, an amazing - one day only - gift of joy came to Kaya, joy that gave her the strength to largely pull her life together. However, her demons and unending shame remained; it took many years of effort to end these. Meanwhile, Kaya obtained a wonderful education and good life although her shame and demons only slowly retreated. She received another great gift - that of a thankfulness that never left her.

In The only prayer I ever have to say is thank you by M. Kaya Hill, we experience the slow but real transformation of shame into deep thankfulness.