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We are all called for an assignment, yet sometimes it hurts you want never to forgive. Yet we must!
I would wake many times a night between 3:00 and 4:00 a.m., hearing, Tell them. It was not about those who betrayed you or those who left you. It is about a work I need to do in them, you, and others.
It was ironic that day. I did not feel hurt. I did not feel pain. I felt numbness, yet not a numbness that paralyzed me. For I wanted to respond in some way. I became so angry, not angry at those who betrayed me or those who I loved and said they loved me yet walked away from me. For I know that they still loved me. They were not trying to hurt me; it was never their intention to hurt me. They were struggling as well. I was angry at Satan because he used people I love in a way to hurt me, hurt God, our church, my husband, our families, and others who love us. So what I learned to do and did was displace that anger on Satan, and not on them. And I thank God because he opened my eyes. When I read the scripture, which I have read before, Jesus wept, I now realize why He was weeping. Jesus was weeping because He was angry at what Satan had done to His friend, to me, to some of you.
So when this attack came, I knew I had to prepare for a battle. I had to put on my war clothes because, now, the attack was going to come not only from within but also from without.
