A TIME top 100 must read book of 2020–a spellbinding dive into paralyzing fear that Rolling Stone says could not be timelier with a new afterword to this paperback edition Since childhood, Eva Holland has been gripped by two debilitating phobias: fear of losing her mother and fear of heights. When the worst comes to pass with her mother’s sudden death in 2015, followed by an ice-climbing expedition that ends with Holland panicky and in tears, a new resolve kicks in: Fear may define her past, but it won’t decide her future.

Through poignant storytelling, eye-opening science journalism, and courageous, boots-off-the-ground investigation, Holland peels back the layers of paralyzing trauma and anxiety to ask: Is fear necessary? Is it rooted in the body or the mind? And further: Is there a better way to feel afraid? By grappling with–even embracing–the things she most deeply dreads, Holland aspires to give us all the nerve to face down the phobias that limit our lives.