Taco Cleanse

As the foreword to The Taco Cleanse explains, cleanses are socially acceptable starvation disguised as health that demand you choke down lemon juice swirled with cayenne pepper and your tears so that you can lose those last five pounds. In other words, they are the f***ing worst. There’s just one exception: one cleanse that is more like the f***ing best. This cleanse will help you forge a new path of wellness and self-discovery that you’ll want to stay on for the rest of your life. It will increase glow in your face and forehead, provide an uplifting sensation in your core chakra, stimulate your nocturnal imagination, and retroactively prevent hangovers. It’s satisfying, scientific, and best of all, simple: All of your meals must contain tacos.That’s right, it’s the #TacoCleanse.

Every recipe happens to be vegan, but this cleanse is NOT for vegans only: It’s for anyone who experiences recurring feelings of hunger on a daily basis, frequently lacks access to eating utensils such as forks or chopsticks, and tilts their head to the left while inserting food into their mouth. Does that describe you? Then it’s time to cleanse.