Dial M for Milkmaid

Cross dressing private detective Harry Takanawa has a problem: his ex-wife Trish is missing. She’s been kidnapped by Mr. Che, crime lord and chairman of an organization driven by the same six sigma principles that Wall Street uses to shape the perfect corporation. Che deals in everything from human trafficking to drug smuggling but in a very businesslike manner. He imprisons Trish in his latest cash cow, a milk farm where lactating women supply breast milk for trendy lattes, medical research, and aging sports figures who think breast milk will improve their game. To track her down Harry goes undercover in drag. Why not? She disappeared in a woman’s dressing room. But along the way Harry falls into the same trap and winds up lactating beside his ex-wife. Harry’s disappearance does not go unnoticed. His lesbian sidekick Big Red, who likes Nancy Drew (and sometimes dresses like her) is working with police to close in on Che’s operation and rescue her boss. Things look grim for Harry and Trish. A mad doctor and a sick mysoginist both want their bodies but for different reasons. And now, women are starting to disappear, and it looks like they may be next. A fun read with interesting characters, not for the feint of heart. You’ll laugh, then shiver as you follow the insane adventures of Fu Chan in Dial M for Milkmaid.