It’s Not about the Wine

Alcohol isn't going to fix the systemic lack of support for mothers--and pretending it's the solution to surviving motherhood does more harm than good.

A wine glass etched with "Mommy needs wine"; a T-shirt that says, "I wine because my kids whine"; a onesie proclaiming, "I'm the reason mommy drinks." This is Mommy Wine Culture: the pervasive message that alcohol helps us survive motherhood. But according to writer and mother Celeste Yvonne, it's a symptom of a much larger issue: the mental load of motherhood, a burden born from outdated family norms, traditional roles, and a systemic lack of support for moms--all of which impact our mental health.

In this refreshing, honest take on some of the most pressing concerns for twenty-first-century parents, Yvonne mixes research, cultural references, her own story, and engaging interviews with other moms who sought refuge in wine and found a way out. Drinking to blur the tumultuous days of parenting is a catch-22: it actually keeps us from being present during this precious time. It's Not about the Wine pulls back the veil on what's really plaguing mothers, offers tangible tips for how to lighten your mental load, and paves a path forward for all of us who want to survive and thrive during these weary and wonderful years. From advice on talking about your mental load with your partner, to curating the media we consume and the company we keep, to deep reflections about how we use alcohol to manage burnout and stress, Yvonne helps us recognize the messaging of Mommy Wine Culture for what it is: a distraction from what we really need. If you are worn out and looking to evaluate your relationship to alcohol and motherhood, It's Not about the Wine is an invaluable companion.