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Imagine having to leave the comfort and security of home and bid farewell to life as you know it. Imagine being cast into the horrors of war, inadequately trained, inadequately prepared; where everything you thought you knew about yourself is tested. As a wife, mother, grandmother and career woman I was heavily engaged in life and loving it. I was also a navy nurse corps reservist. I served believing that we reservists were being trained to relieve active duty counterparts as they moved forward in deployment; this, in the event of a national emergency requiring a call to arms. I joined the military to teach others operating room nursing skills but the onset of war half a world away changed all the rules and as a member of the reserve military I was bound to follow, with out question. I was not expecting to be called to serve in a fleet hospital positioned as the forward most medical support system within the gulf war zone. Activated, I quickly became aware that I was no longer an individual, free to function with independent thinking. I was a member of a mobilized reserve unit and working to adapt to the military mind set. I was now committed to serving at the discretion of my designated superiors; where the criteria to lead was based on rank rather than knowledge, ability or skill. This book is taken from diary entries and letters of a deployed reservist in the first gulf war. Its message is as relevant today as it was then and will be in future wars where there is American participation and military reservists are deployed as its primary fighting force.
