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I thought I knew him. I thought I was filled with his Holy Spirit. After all, I had been raised in a pentacostal church for over 23 years. I had served faithfully on every committee you can think of. I was even ordained at the young age of 18, and it was after all this, that I thought I knew him . In the spring of 1992, I was coming home from another boring Sunday church service. My heart was broken, I actually felt worse on the drive home than I did on the drive there. Tears streaming down my face I could not understand why I did not feel renewed. After all is this not why we go to church? As I pulled the car in the front yard, it seemed as if I was a time bomb just waiting to explode. When all of a sudden with one question from my oldest son sent me into a rage. All of my frustrations from that Sunday service, came pouring out of me. Words not fit for the ears of sailors on a pirate’s ship, let alone the innocent ears of young children that had been raised in church all of their lives. To see the surprised look on their faces was more than I could bear. You see at that time in my life I had 5 children. My oldest three children were 14,13,12 and my younger two were 6 and 4 years of age. Never before had they ever heard me use such lanquage. Profanity; oh that kind of language, if you can call it that was not apart of my vocabulary. I have always dispised people who felt the need to express themselves in such a way. People who vocabulary was so limited until they could not express themselves without making you feel bad, and here I was sister hollier than thou using profanity. This was a shock even to me. But it was at that moment that I realized that I no longer knew God. Can you imagine how I must have felt? Shaken like Sampson after Delilah had manipulated him into telling her where his strength lies. When she called out to him and said; Sampson the Phillistines be upon thee. Can you just imagine?
