Now more than ever, Americans are troubled by questions. As sweaty modernity thrusts itself upon us, the veil of ignorance that cloaked our nation hangs in tatters, tattered tatters. Our funny bones are neither fun nor bony. Glum is the new giddy, and the old giddy wasn’t too giddy to begin with.

What can be done to stop this relentless march of drabbery? Nothing. But perhaps this book can be used to dull the pain. Included herein:

The Ten Worst Films of All Time, as Reviewed by Ezra Pound over Italian Radio

Unused Audio Commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring DVD (Platinum Series Extended Edition), Part One.

How Important Moments in My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot in the Stomach

My Beard, Reviewed

Circumstances under Which I Would Have Sex with Some of My Fellow Jurors

Words That Would Make Nice Names for Babies, If It Weren’t for Their Unsuitable Meanings

As a Porn Movie Titler, I May Lack Promise

Ineffective Ways to Subdue a Jaguar

Eleven Lunch Meats I Have Invented

Four Things I Would Have Said to Sylvia Plath if I Had Been Her Boyfriend

And much, much more, including 20 brilliant new lists …