This provocative story illuminates the lives of 2 wayward adventure seekers. It's the unfortunate true account of myself and equally neurotic traveling companion. As young, naive gringos, we sought a mood altering pilgrimage to South America. We followed our siren's call towards drama, chaos and confusion in the jungles and mountains of the Inca Empire. For nearly a year, we played hide and seek from military police, danced the jig of civility while dodging the bullet of sanity. Exploits contained in this work are not intended for the squeamish, timid, faint of heart or too delicate. Graphic episodes may offend fragile, tightly wrapped and emotionally stable individuals. That being said, this narrative is equally seductive to extreme travel junkies and adventure seekers. A burgeoning population of recovery oriented Baby Boomers, will discover a niche of paradoxical insight. Arm chair travelers will be shocked, amused, entertained and educated. Hipsters will marvel at the high drama and drop dead humor.