A semi-pornographic portrait painter and his pretty wife are hard at work in their isolated farm in darkest Exmoor. Two beautiful, well upholstered models arrive to pose. But the wife’s first husband, a ne'er-do-well violent prisoner, has escaped from Dartmoor Prison as ‘Long John Silver’ (whom he thinks he is, having got a knock on the head during a pantomime) and is bent on murder. There are two naive Dartmoor screws in pursuit of Long John and a virginal vicar pursued by the models. A pantomime horse and a gorilla suit help to complicate matters in this end-of-pier eisteddfod. Read it and produce it!