Words Not Spoken is a father’s first-hand account of raising a son that could not speak or adhere to basic social norms - and his fight to find an alternative to institutionalization when his son reached adulthood. Author Lawrence Markin did not even know what autism was when his son Eric was diagnosed in 1988 at the age of two. Few people did at that time. Mr. Markin’s journey over the next two decades - from his initial quest for knowledge, to what it was like living in a household consumed by chaos, to the unique living arrangement he fought to make happen when Eric became an adult - is detailed with brutal honesty and raw emotion. The author’s wit, wisdom and honesty evoke both humor and pathos throughout the narrative.
Mr. Markin describes how people’s ignorance about autism and the challenges of raising a son as severe as Eric greatly affected the family’s personal relationships. He talks about how Eric’s early behaviors - taking his clothes off in public, grabbing other people’s food and other embarrassing but innocent incidents - got more serious as Eric got older, resulting in broken windshields, broken bones and police visits. Frustrated by efforts to secure community-based housing for Eric as an alternative to being institutionalized, Mr. Markin ultimately purchased his in-laws’ house and had it razed and reconstructed specifically for Eric to live in as an adult, with staffing support funded by the state. The house has been featured in the Chicago Tribune and other publications.
Words Not Spoken does not purport to offer textbook lessons on autism, although embedded in the human drama are facts about autism’s prevalence, history, causes, treatments and some of the latest research. What it does provide are real-life lessons, describing in stark detail what life was like for one family with someone whose special needs were beyond what most people with autism have. Rarely do we hear about people as severe as Eric because they have historically been stashed away and forgotten. Mr. Markin’s account draws open the curtain to reveal the challenges posed in making life livable for all involved with such family members, and the difficulty in finding a suitable long-term solution.
Words Not Spoken tugs at the heartstrings. With the continuously increasing awareness of autism, it is a serious eye-opener for anyone wanting to know more about this condition, and what life is like living with the most severely afflicted.
