Glasgow for Bertie is the promised land. The city of pies and Irn Bru, far from his controlling mother, Irene - his place of escape. But how will he respond to the news of the proposed merging of Edinburgh and Glasgow? A new member of Bertie's class at school is causing ripples in his social circle. She is called Galactica MacFee and is going to be a match for Olive and her lieutenant, Pansy.

And an incredible new discovery: a Pictish stone that is said to have the first-known written poem carved into it is the talk of the town. But when the poem is eventually translated, it is thought it is best to keep it under wraps.