Goddesses Don’t Wear Orange

When Florence’s boyfriend dumped her, she cried, she drank tequila, she even stabbed a voodoo doll a couple of times, but she didn’t murder the bastard. Unfortunately, the jury didn’t see it that way. Now an inmate at Coffee Correctional Facility, Florence has just one chance at regaining her freedom: the mysterious Rehabilitation Seminars. All she has to do is be on her best behavior and she’ll be able to return home and resume her life of adventure (i.e. bralessly binge-watching reality TV while moustache bleach sears her upper lip). But, as it turns out, the prison gods are giant dicks. Because every step Florence takes toward freedom leads her deeper into her past-making her want to hide under the covers (discreetly double fisting cookie dough and Xanax). Add to that the unrequited love of the prison janitor and the attentions of a kind, intelligent, dry-humpable stranger, and this may be a rough year. Still, Florence is confident that she can survive it… you know, as long as she doesn’t stumble upon any dramatic, life-altering discoveries that cause her to question her basic assumptions about the world. Yep. As long as that doesn’t happen, she’ll be juuust fine.