Dark Sexy Funny: Poetry from the Mind of Erozeno

This book will not help you lose weight

It will not cure your erectile dysfunction

It does not increase the size of your breasts

It will not cure your halitosis

It will not increase your disposable income

It does not offer a money-back guarantee

It will not rid your home of unwanted pests

It will not be available in stores or through an incredible TV offer

It does not cure your embarrassing dandruff flakes

It will not cure Ebola

It will not kill ISIS

It does not endorse any political candidate for office

This book will not keep frozen food fresh

It will not increase the amount of your red blood cells

It does not require refrigeration

It will not cut, slice, or dice

It will not cure your depression

It does not help you get a good night’s sleep

It will not cure your cold

It will not get rid of unwanted pet odors

It does not remove embarrassing acne and blemishes

It will not increase the length of your penis

It will not help you find your soul mate

It does not accept major credit cards

This book has no benefits

It has no side effects

Please do not ask your doctor about this book