Maureen Collins, recently named Sister Matthew in the novitiate at St. Euphrosnye’s convent in Western Maryland in 1962, doubts the existence of God. She entered the convent for several reasons: she thinks being surrounded by believers might help her believe; she knows she’s attracted to women and wants to avoid pressure to date men and marry; and she feels guilty about something that happened when she was in high school.

She quickly falls in love with Rose Clancy, now Sister Rose, another novice who also is attracted to women. Rose is more religious, but she reciprocates Sister Matthew’s feelings. She grew up with an alcoholic mother and found a refuge among the nuns who taught her.

As the two move through postulancy and the novitiate, they encounter many challenges from the strict rules to memories of their respective pasts. The memory of an old murder intrudes in the present.

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What reviewers are saying:

A landmark book! The first novel to focus entirely on pre-Vatican II novices. Intelligent, romantic, and captivating.

Nancy Manahan, co-editor of Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence A faith-challenged novice and her particular friend take cloistered life to new heights. A witty, humorous, and deeply thoughtful story about finding one’s true passion. There’s even a murder mystery.

Becky Bohan, author of A Light on Altered Land

Why does a nice Jewish girl like me love a book about nuns? Because it’s written by Carol Anne Douglas, a brilliant author who makes me chuckle, cry, and marvel on alternate pages. And because I’ve learned from her that some nuns, a mysterious group of women I never understood, never traded their humanity when they donned their habits.

Ellen Levy, author of Romance at Stonegate An in-depth examination of convent life in the 1960s that is both poignant and insightful.

Elena Graf, author of Occasions of Sin