Healing the devastation of incest is like negotiating a dark labyrinth. This second edition of Triumph, first published in 1991, covers not only the first years of healing but the years since then.
Trysh Ashby-Rolls’ childhood was filled with shameful secrets and the confusion of keeping up appearances. It was only after a crippling illness and rare spinal cord surgery that she remembered her father sexually abusing her as a toddler until age eleven when he used her in a child pornography ring.
With the help of a treasured and knowledgeable counsellor, she gradually learned that the abuse was not her fault. Through discovering little Mary Patricia, she lovingly reparented and got to know herself. Slowly, reality set in. Her rage and grief erupted. She wrote letters of confrontation and disclosure to her parents, but quickly realized that forgive and forget was not an answer. She questioned the existence of God and discovered a new spirituality.
As Ashby-Rolls changed, so did her relationships. The man who had unconditionally loved and supported her, until his own pain forced him into recovery, found someone else. Her son stormed off to live on the streets. She decided to move from downtown Toronto to a cabin in rural British Columbia, write a book and make a new life.
Her self-esteem increased. She learned to love her body, gave up her addictions and compulsions, and successfully combated insomnia. After reporting her father to the British police, he was arrested. It became safe to remember the worst that happened to her. As she let go anger and blame, she made peace with her mother and son, and learned to live with paradox.
Trysh Ashby-Rolls hopes her book will encourage others on a similar journey. Although it sometimes seems it will never end and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, healing continues and the light is a life of dignity and serenity never known before.
