The First Lady: African American Pastors’ Wives in Their Own Voices

Who is she? What is she like?
She is a lot more down to earth than I thought.
She is always trying to run something.
She should be more active in the church. There is no lack of curiosity or opinions about the woman who serves as First Lady in Black church. Spoken and unspoken, there are expectations associated with being married to the pastor. Yet, every woman in the role approaches it differently depending on who she is, what her husband expects and the context of the church. Through a collection of 19 personal stories of African American pastors’ wives diverse in age, denomination and standpoint, The First Lady explores how these women define and negotiate their diverse roles as pastors’ wives while balancing the expectations of both their husbands and congregations. Some of the topics addressed are unique to pastors’ wives: defining the role, coping with loneliness, raising children in the proverbial fishbowl, developing friendships with congregants, and finding her place in ministry. But, pastors’ wives also experience life stories of struggle and triumph relevant to all women–burying a child, caring for an ailing husband, balancing career and family, and simply learning to be comfortable in her own skin. The First Lady seeks to humanize the women in the role, provide a more thoughtful understanding not based on stereotypes, misconceptions or unrealistic cultural expectations, and recognize that each woman is unique and approaches the role differently.