William James: Private Dick: The Case of the Missing Pantz

Field goal kicker William James was driven from his childhood home town by an angry mob. Officer William James lost the badge he wore in parking enforcement because of corruption at the highest levels of government. Now, with his trusty secretary, Teena Tigbits, private detective William James roams the underbelly of the city–a world of erotic reference librarians, ten-speed biker bars, Catholic schoolgirl gangs, and sex-crazed religious cults. With no discernible intelligence or skills, James searches for the elusive stripper with the heart of gold and ends up going toe to toe with the most powerful forces in city. William James: Private Dick is a rude, raunchy, and hilarious spoof of noir detective novels starring the well-endowed William James and a bevy of strippers, librarians, cops, barkeeps, bikers and nuns who are attracted by his . . charms.You meet, Mrs. Mohammad of Mohammad’s Pig and Pancake, the buxom cop, Deshawanawanda Jones, Reverend Diana Babylon preaching the Holy Bibble, and a host of other urban eccentrics as you follow our dim-witted hero through the bars, the jails, the strip joints, and the trailer parks of his beloved city. The book is for adults only, but not mature adults. It is for immature and sophomoric adults who like dumb jokes and even dumber puns mixed in a stew of raunchy sex. The Critics Rave A magnificent achievement. A literary tour de force of the first magnitude. –The Christian Science Monitor Lizard Lymore’s novel makes War and Peace seem like the mad jottings of an illiterate toilet cleaner. –The Harvard Pornography Review Offensive and disgusting from the opening sentence to the final period. –Mrs. Anita Boning