Letting Go: A Practical Theory of Relationship Disengagement and Re-engagement

While many books in the popular press deal with relationships, Letting Go is among the first to draw upon scholarly research to offer a theoretical perspective with practical implications. Cahn examines interpersonal relationship disengagement and reengagement by tapping the resources of social science literature. The result is a model for communication which seeks to achieve and maintain interpersonal understanding, while promoting communication behaviors that encourage growth of the individual and relationship satisfaction. The author’s integrated approach combines three models of relationship development; namely, quality communication, recognition and availability of more desirable alternatives, and degree of personal investments. He also surveys the literature on friendship, mateship, supervisor and subordinate relationships, and teacher-student relationships, and demonstrates that a quality communication environment, as measured by the Perceived Understanding Instrument, is crucial for understanding relationship disengagement and reengagement.