Now in paperback, former MTV VJ Dave Holmes’s hilarious memoir of a perpetual outsider fumbling his way toward self-acceptance, with the music of the ‘80s, '90s, and today as his soundtrack

Dave Holmes has spent his life on the periphery, nose pressed hopefully against the glass, wanting just one thing- to get inside. Growing up, he was the artsy son in the sporty family. At his all-boys high school and Catholic college, he was the closeted gay kid surrounded by crush-worthy straight guys. And in his twenties, in the middle of a disastrous career in advertising, he accidentally became an MTV VJ overnight when he finished second, naturally, in the Wanna Be a VJ contest, opening the door to fame, fortune, and celebrity-you know, almost.

In Party of One, Holmes tells the hilariously painful and painfully hilarious tales-in the vein of Rob Sheffield, Andy Cohen, and Paul Feig-of an outsider desperate to get in, of a misfit constantly changing shape, of a music geek who finally learns to accept himself. Structured around a mix of hits and deep cuts from the last four decades-from Bruce Springsteen’s oHungry Hearto and En Vogue’s oFree Your Mindo to LCD Soundsystem’s oLosing My Edgeo and Bleachers’ oI Wanna Get Bettero-and punctuated with interludes like oSo You’ve Had Your Heart Broken in the ‘90s- A Playlisto and oNotes on (Jesse) Camp,o this book is for anyone who’s ever felt like a square peg, especially those who have found their place in the world around a band, an album, or a song. It’s a laugh-out-loud funny, deeply nostalgic story about never fitting in, never giving up, and letting good music guide the way.