I stared at the stupid screens growing out of my children’s hands and reflecting off of their beautiful faces. I watched the process of the deepening hypnosis. There isn’t a loving parent who hasn’t envisioned hurtling an i-device through the window and into the path of an oncoming train. I WANTED MY CHILDREN BACK !!! But how? How can a mother woo her dear ones back from the world of apples, droids and galaxies? It is at the moment of deepest desperation that we humans remember what is most dear and basic. I remembered the trails. We set a goal. We would, as a part of the South Carolina Ultimate Outsider Program, explore every state park in South Carolina. The parks had just launched a challenge for people to tour each park in the system - all 47. At journey’s end, the explorers would be bequeathed the title of Ultimate Outsider ! The cool title alone would have been worth the trek. Curious. Accept the Ultimate Outsider Challenge and welcome my children back into the intimacy of family. I had had enough of being cast out of my children’s experiences in favor of fickle technology. I laid out the task. We, as a family, were ready to become Ultimate Outsiders.