13 Blasphemies: Cyber Attack on the Holy Bible

This is short satire by a fictional Conservative Christian writer warning Patriotic Americans about a Cyber Attack on the Good Book by the evil minions of the Liberal Socialist Media Cartel. The fictitious author, S. R. Smith, has become convinced, upon his first-ever reading of the Gospels, that freedom-hating activist hackers have planted false passages in the Holy Bible which directly link the teaching of Jesus to the Liberal Agenda. A committed Conservative and self-proclaimed Christian, he is incapable of believing that our Lord and Savior would have actually said, for example, render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s , because that admonition would undermine his zealous belief in lower taxes and smaller government. The author sees that our Second Amendment right to protect ourselves and our property with firearms would be similarly threatened if Jesus had actually advised turning the other cheek and literally giving the shirt off our backs to Godless thieves. His only logical explanation then is that, under cover of the kind of darkness only afforded to those practiced in the dark art of electronic warfare, the Bible has been corrupted to advance the abhorrent agenda of his sworn enemies - American Liberals. In the book, Mr. Smith provides us with 13 Blasphemies - statements attributed to Jesus Christ that he assures us were actually inserted into the Holy Scriptures to advance the insidious goals of those loathsome Liberals - 13 things which every good Conservative knows that Jesus couldn’t possibly have said.