Conrad vs Conrad

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Itchy’s law firm no longer adhered to the practice of chasing ambulances. Their motto was: Everyone is a victim. Don’t call us, we’re already there! The firm took great pride in being at the scene in a matter of minutes. Conrad, I’m going to jump right to the point. You have an excellent opportunity to cash in your misfortune!
I guess I don’t understand.
I’m ready to bring litigation against several entities on your behalf, including against yourself.
I am confused, mostly because the entire incident was my fault.
Don’t you see Conrad, regardless of the outcome of a lawsuit like this, we have the chance to become famous! It will not only enhance my stature in the legal community, but it will give you tremendous notoriety as a writer. You’ll no longer be an unknown! ********* At the world news center, GNN, Winnie Chen answered the phone. This is Winnie Chen, how may I help you?
Uh…this is Gene Acknee. I work for a lawyer in Wayward County, state of Colorado.
How may I help you?
I’ve got some information you might be interested in. There seems to be a sensational trial starting here tomorrow.
And what is that about?
Some dude is suing himself!