The info-packed, truth-telling guide expectant and new mothers have been screaming into their pillows for.

So you’re making a person…and no one will stop telling you what to do about it. Your friends, your neighbors, your Uber driver–everyone is giving you unsolicited advice, to which Beth and Jackie say: F*ck advice! There’s no right way to be pregnant or a new mom, only stretchy pants to be worn and choices to be made.

This illustrated guide asks and answers all the essential questions that pop up from the first trimester to the fourth, such as: Should I have an unmedicated or drugged-out birth? (Up to you!) Will I have time to pee as a new mom? (Maybe!) How do I avoid hating my partner? (That’s a little more complicated.) Funny, feminist, and, above all, pro-mom, this book is an actually useful baby shower gift.