The First Move: Break the dating rules to find a bigger love and better life

Sheryl Sandberg was right: the single most important career decision a woman makes is her choice of life partner. Brooks ignites that conversation for a new generation.‘ JAMILA RIZVI'Being the maximum version of yourself is a political act in a world where women continue to shrink themselves to build up or appease the men in front of them.'Today’s young women are told we can be anything, so we search for a love to back us, not hold us back. We want the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle kind of love, not Prince William and Kate. Yet, while we unapologetically own our careers and lives and Bumble accounts, we’re still unsure whether men truly accept-let alone desire-the women we have become. We are told to lean in at work, but wait for him to call. To ask for the pay rise, but not his number. We are ambitious at work but confused in love.Women’s dating behaviour does not yet reflect the gender-equal partnerships we desire and dating literature has remained so focused on helping us lock down a partner, it has ignored what independent women actually want from men: more. The First Move is an insightful body of social research and a critique of our dating culture, interwoven with a young woman’s call to finding contemporary love. Writer Emily J. Brooks explores women’s socialisation, real negotiation, and the unwavering benefits of equality in our romantic relationships. When women demand a love that backs us, it lifts up the rest of our lives-so it is time for us to step into our power.